Can you negotiate a good design?

***disclaimer*** If you have complete control over the décor in your home, you don’t need to read this post.  Go forth and redecorate as much as you like!  Just do us a favor and show us your work so we can live vicariously through you! LOL

Still reading? Then chances are there are others in your household with different opinions about design.  Ok, yes I’m talking about our men here!  At the risk of stereotyping, here are a few commons opinions I’ve heard over time:

• You don’t paint wood
• More holes in the wall is a bad thing
• But I like my favorite chair in that corner!
• You just redid that room 5 years ago, why do you have to do it again?
• Hey, where did you put my prized {marlin/antlers/dogs playing poker}?

I know, I know…I’m not being fair.  There are many evolved men out there that “get it” when it comes to how and why we persistently nest.  (You guys rock!).

Some good advice I got at our wedding was that “women think they can change men, but they don’t change.  Men think women won’t change, but they do.”  Maybe we redecorate a lot because we gave up on changing our men?  LOL

What it comes down to is how to compromise and design a room you BOTH will like.  Here are some tips for finding harmony in your design:

Establish the need: Ask him one thing he likes and dislikes about a room, then come up with a common objective.  Is the layout a problem? Walls looking a bit rough? Is the décor outdated? Avoid “design speak” here – focus more on function.  Once he feels you’re actually on the same page, he’ll feel that you’re working together.

Identify a style: Look through design magazines and clip out pages you like (no more than 10!).  Ask him which of the pages you selected he likes the best, and why.  This will help him to communicate his design style without having to use design jargon.

Propose a budget:  Avoid the itemized list; just keep it to round numbers.  Shop within your home first for accessories stored away or used in other rooms.  Keep the focus on the shared objective.  For example, I can make our home office less cluttered and more efficient for $XXX. And it wouldn’t hurt to mention that if you ever put your house on the market, an updated room shows much better.

Ask for help: Be clear about what you need his help with. Men want to be needed, but often prefer direct requests over vague suggestions.

Antlers and good design can indeed live in harmony!

Just be flexible and willing to really listen and compromise (but don’t concede your design to the point where a watered-down design is worse then what you had before).

Good luck!